Are We Dead Yet?

Sun, 22 Jul 2007 04:36:50 GMT

ADD NEW LIVEJOURNAL ..

thugmoshgrinddo.livejournal.com

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 16:09:55 GMT

I will never be going on a plane again in my life.
That was terrible.
I don't understand how people can be so calm and chill and not worried.
Ugh ... never ever again.

But Puerto Rico itself was pretty
Out hotel was really nice with our own beach.
and a realyl nice swimming pool. With lots of places to walk around.

I got to go to the Rain Forest.
I don't really agree with what they do with it.
I always thought it was just a big forest.
But there is a bunch of paths and people even live on it.
It's weird.
But still really pretty.

Being able drink was cool.
But I puked the first night and was done after that haha.
Everyone is pretty chill down there and slow.
They drive like maniacs and don't use the lines on the roads.

I can't really think of anything else.
It was nice though cept for the plane of course.
I don't think I've ever missed my family and friends so much.

My graduation is tonight.
But I'm going to Casualties with Matt instead.

Wed, 06 Jun 2007 19:25:36 GMT

daammn it's been a whille.

i only have 2 days of school left.
it's pretty weird.
kinda sad .. but not really haha.
i dont think it will hit me untill next year when everyone is going back to school and i'm not.

i've decided on going to Pennsylvania Beauty Academy.
im going to go visit when i get back from puerto rico
ill be going there sunday. IM N3RV0UZ!!!
planes are gay.
but atleast i can legally drink down there.
so basically just sittin on a beach or by the pool, drinkin with matt.
sounds pretty wonderful.
just planes ... ew

so anyway. i can't think of anything else new.
ive been suppper busy.
if im not working. im with matt. if im not with matt im with friends.
and if im not doin any of that im sleepin or at school.
i cant wait for summer so i can maybe have a day to do not one thing.

i had inschool for 2 days.
and i think it saved my life, and for me to be able to graduate.
cause i actually did work and stuff.
it was ballah.
and fun.

i think that tis it. bye =D

ahhhh

Mon, 21 May 2007 03:02:31 GMT

It's been a while. Lots have happened. Maybe, probably not.

Things are well with Matt. They had been pretty rough. Like last week I talked to him about going on break because I felt guilty about everything going on. But we stayed together, and I'm glad. Friday was his birthday. We went to the Drive-Ins and he stayed over all weekend. Last night was NH prom, of course I didn't go. But people came over after. It was cuutez.

Today was busy. Work 12-6. Then hung out with Ryan Betcher and his friends. I haven't talked to that kid in forever. But on Wednesday night I went to Strike Anywhere with Bekkaz and he was there, so we've been talking again. It's cool. Then I met up with Kayla, Bekka, and Chelk at enp and that was ballaahhh cause we haven't hung out just us four in forever. I miss those guys.

Anyway I wish it was Friday night again and I was at the drive ins with Matt.

my hair is cut. its so ugly. i look so ugly. ehhh i dont know what to do with it. i misss long hair so much. grooww betch grow!

I'm out of school on the 8th .. I think that's like not even 3 weeks away. Mmmm and then I'm going to Puerto Rico with Matt. It should be awesome. I'm scared of plans. beaches + fattnes = v_v

=]

Fri, 11 May 2007 01:59:07 GMT

LAST NIGHT WAS INTENSE....

bekkaz and i went down the south side .. you know the usual just hanging out and stuff.
when we see this fiiiiine peice of ass walk in the door.
so we do the usual thing we do be all creepy and weird and look at dem and stuff.
and we notice this kid lookin back too.
and we get all giggly and stuff.
so finally this boy comes over askin for a cigarette and we end up talking to him

eventually we start talking about how they have paintings in their apartment.
we tell them how we want to see, so they invite us back to their house.

IT WAS NOT SHADY. if you saw this kid you would have done the same. he was gorrrggeeouss and just really nice and funny.

so we go back to their house like up the hills from e. carson.
with him and his friend.
his apartment was awesome. you can climb out the window onto the roof and get the perfect view of the city.

then they ask us to come to this bar.
and we are definatly down.
even though i def had school the next day.
and we had nooo idea how we were getting home.

the kid dave bought us some ying-ling .. haha ghetto.
it was great
and i dno hahah it was fun.

we give up on ever getting home.
and we spent the night there.
it was glorious and just so random.
i loved it.

i didnt go to school today.
it was ballin.

work was awesome.
new kid started.
finally someone i dont hate.
he is cutez and nice.
i talked to him the whole time.
it was also ballin.

ya so ballin.

OMGZ IM IN COZMOZ SHHH!!!

Tue, 08 May 2007 13:04:59 GMT

Currently I should be doing my Final Project Essay for Cosmo ... but I don't feel like it nor do I have enough info to complete .... sooo since Beattie isn't a bitch that blocks errrthang such as North Hills, I decided to update.

""Hear is Nessticle ::: HI LOWENS ELJAY I LOVE LOWEN SO MUCH. SHE IS PRETTY. AND HAPPY. I LOVE LOWEN

HERE is Kayla.... Lauren said she was going to fix that error above.... but she isn't now... she's a betch.... it's okay though because I think we are going to go get a soft pretzel shortly. Jake Gillenhal and Edward Norton should have a love child because that thing would be BOMB AS HELL MAN. some creeper lady with bad blonde and red color keeps going past. i want to help her. she looks ugly. THE END@@@ i love lauren. a litle.a hahahahahahahahah""

Annyyywayyy .....

It's been a while since I've updated. Well at least an unblocked entry. Though everything is cool now. I have to work tonight .. and I would rather have fun somewhere or do nothinga t home.

But ya ... I don't think I have enough time to really write and enty. So I give you a holla lata ELJAY.

=D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D =D

Sun, 22 Apr 2007 14:55:47 GMT

that show last night was ... the best thing in the world.
anti-flag was amazing, they still put on such a good show.
going with kayla, bekka, and chelsea was awesome.
we all just danced the whole night.
it was amazing.

..... NICK KRATSAS .... o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o it was very nice to see that boy again.
agggghhhhhhh lots o ass grabbin and probably the nicest hug ever.
agjahdjghadjhgajdhfgjadhgahdjghdghfdghfdjhg
akdjfhgadjhg
hadkfhgajfdhgadhgajdgh
adkjghadkfhgadkhgkdhgjdhg
daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmnnnnnnnn

that show was just perfect.

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 02:26:43 GMT

i believe i like this kid more and more each time i see him <3

yesterday we were driving back to my house. and we were on this small street in robinson by the mall and shit. because it was raining so hard we slipped around a turn and did a total 180 and hit the curb in his truck. if another car had been coming .. that could have been very bad. ive never been so scared. i get so worried v_v it sucks.

this saturday is going to be fucking awesome.
antiflag and big d .. with bekka, kayla and chels.
i dont think it can get any better.

i want it to be friday and i wanna see my boy and hug him for like 136356 hours.
i love him soo much.

i wanna be somewhere pretty.

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 22:41:16 GMT

i wish this was as cool as it used to be.

The break from school was nice.

im not feelin to happy right now.
i dont know that happens a lot.
its annoying.
i wish i felt like doing something.

i have school work to do.
school shouldnt exist.

what else is new?

sidney is cute.
i need to get payed .. mm tomorrow.
i want to go shopping.
mm yaaa.
i got a stalker this past week.
he went up to my school and gave the office a card to deliver to me.
it was scary .. but funny.
matt yelled at him.
it was cute, he isnt the jealous type really.
but ya it was cute.

he let me drive his truck.
trucks are for hicks.
when you come around my house notice all the sweet skid marks on bepler and coming off mcknight.
he loves scaring the shit out of me.

my music is too loud.

leftover crack is my favorite band..

but right now i feel like listening to slow music

FUCK THE COLD.
WARMNESS COME THE HELL BACK.

waa waa wuu wee woo

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 00:25:27 GMT

I've wanted a day to chill and do nothing in a really long time. Today is the first day since forever I've had nothing to do, and I haven't felt this depressed in a long time. I hate sitting at home doing nothing all day. Plus last night I only got like 3 hours of sleep until Matt woke me up and went to Eat N' Park.

Last night was ... amazing? I've been worried about it for weeks, and I never would have guessed it would have turned out so big. All the bands were really fucking good. How did I even get such great bands. Though I couldn't even fit down there in my own basement. There had to be around like 70 kids there .. maybe more. It was insane. All the kids I see at all the good shows were there. The whole like Pittsburgh punk scene. Kids from Ohio and Wisconsin. It was intense. I'm pretty proud though, I mean my house last night .. was the place to be. The drummer of Caustic Christ was there .. dammnn. I just hope everyone had a good time. It didn't even get too bad. I mean broken glass, breaking the stair thing. But it really wasn't too bad. Though I don't think I could ever do that again. That was way to much stressen. And I'm still amazed that my neighbors didn't call the cops. I really just hope people had fun. We raised around like $70 for P.O.G. which is good considering we let some kids in for free, and only made some kids pay about like $2 or $3. .

I miss Matt like crazy though right now. Today's our 1 year, 1 month .. I thought I would be like chill with missing him so much since it's been so long. But he's still all I can think about.

It's thunder storming out <3 I'm really glad. Gives me a reason to stay inside and do nothing.

I only work like Tuesday, Friday, and Saturday morning. I'm pretty pumped for that. I just wanna go see Hills Have Eyes 2 with my boy. Hopefully go shopping a lil bit. Then definitely color my hair something awesome. I don't know what's up with me trying to do the natural stuff .. I get bored wayyy to easy.
Sounds like a good week though.
Fuck the coldness coming back.

<33

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 01:46:32 GMT

My boyfriend is the most amazing person in this world.
And there is absolutly no one else who could ever compare.

He's such a terrible driver v_v
Well just crazy ... and driving with him makes my stomach hurt.
He dropped me off just a few minutes ago, and I miss him more then anything.

My show is on Saturday. I'm nervous.
But I feel better after talking to Casey.
But I dno .. hope all goes well =|

Sleep, School, Work, Sleep, School, Work .. the next two days..
I hate that. I just want to be with Matt.

My moms in the hospital.
She has been since Monday .. but they still don't know what's wrong with her.
Hospitals suck .. just walking in there makes me wanna cry.
She seems better, I think she may be coming home tomorrow.
I hope so, it's really weird here and lonely.
I couldnt imagine sitting in that bed for 4 days in a row.
It makes me feel terrible.

I just want it to be Saturday.
And for Matt to be here.
Then chill with my good friends after the show,
that will be nice.
Agh, I hope everthing goes okay.
My mom has no idea about it.
She just thinks it's a few friends.
Ugh.

I want Matt here.

our next song is called .. JESUS LOVE.

Mon, 19 Mar 2007 00:10:04 GMT

Leftover Crack Show <3

Waiting outside for like an hour and a half or two ours in the snow fucking sucks.
But watching drunks get kicked out before the show even starts is fun.
I saw loots of kids I used to chill with back in the day.
It was nice.
Club Stratus fucking sucks.
You walk in and there is ground. But then there is like this platform taking up most of the room that people stand on.
But then the stage is like below that and there is small floor in from of that you can stand. but can only fit maybe like 70 kids. and everyon else has to stand on this platform thing in which you cant even see the band.
.. Make sense? No. Exactaly. That was lame as hell.
But everything else was great.
I went down with my friend Casey and met Matt down there.
Citizins Fish was good.
As was Leftover Crack .. they didn't sound shitty or drunk which was suprising.
But the crowd was great.

They stayed over night. Went to ENP with Matt and Pat the next morning.
Later wen to this show with Kayla, Bekka and Chels.
Cause this girl I met before was in one the bands playing which I was curious to see.
I didn't even get to see them.
The bands were so shitty. We just made fun of them and danced and fucked with other people there.
So it was actually fun.
But ya Those Who Fear Played .. haha ew.
And since all the other bands also sucked, I couldnt stay there anymore.
So we got pizza and went back to Chels's.
Smoked, Drank, it was awesome and really fun.
I love those gals.

Work today eh.
and umm none tomorrow.
I wanna see Matt. It feels like forever since we havent been able to chill alone in a dno how long. I really want to see him. But I don't think that will happen till like Saturday maybe v_v

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 00:09:10 GMT

So I'm pretty much happy with everything.
I love my friends. I have everyone I want now. So now everyone else can die.=]
It's about time; usually I get annoyed with girls cause they are always so bitchy all the time, but not these ones. They are f'rill. I've got back in touch with all my good friends I haven't talked to in a while.I've been hanging out with Bekka and Chelsea a lot lately, I'm so glad I've missed them. Last night was soooooo much fun. I've also started talking to Alex again at school and such, and I don't remember why we even stopped talking.

Ya everything's all good now. I love Matt. He's seriously the greatest guy in the world and he would do just about anything for me. He's not some shaddy asshole who I can't trust, he's just aakjghadjfhg awesome. Thursday was our 1 year. We went down Southside and chilled. I got this ...

yaaa represent. I think this tattoo has more meaning then any other one I have. I love this place. And I'm pretty sure I'll be staying here forever. And if I were to move I'd always have this place with me .. and all the good times. I'm absolutly in love with it. I got it at In The Blood. That place is the shit. From now on I go there for everything.

Anyway, everything is perfect.
I love everything.
I need to go to a fucking show right now.
Leftover Crack is coming up.
Also my show.
I don't even think I'm ready for my show.
I'm worried about how many kids will be there, it's going to be too intense.

I finally did my graduation project.
Well some. Better then nothing.

Here's a lil recap of last night ...

oh man ....

you can hear me before you see me i got king kong in the trunk

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 03:00:24 GMT

This weekend was pretty good actually.
Matt stayed over Friday night, I like seein him for long periods of time since I don't get to see him lots anyway. And I like waking up to him and all the kisses. But before he left I dont even know what happened, but there wasnt a hug or saying bye 5 times before he left. And when he went in his house, I don' think I've ever missed someone so much in my life. But everything is back to normal now. We didn't really talk about it, but oh well. I'm seein him tomorrow. Maybe going down the southside. Anddd Thursday is our one year. I think we are going down the southside then too. i think ill get my tattoo then.

saturday night was really fun. finally got to hang out with bekka and chelsea .. its been forever. then kayla came too. we went to laser strom. there was lots of lil kids. we played a game .. the kids were excited to have us hardcore teeenagers on their team. of course we won. we got like over a 1,000 tickets. and got a bunch of shit. including a woopie cushun we took to enp with us when we were done ... that was entertainin.

i worked today it was eh. i got sims 2 and sin city there a few days ago. niiice.

no one reads these anymore. i dno why i still write.

life = awesome =D

Tue, 20 Feb 2007 03:52:15 GMT

This week was awesome with barley any school.
I don't rememeber what I did but I didn't work for 6 days in a row, so it was cool.
Matt came over today. :] He brang ...

and we went out to lunch. We didn't get to do anything cute of Valentines day so today was kinda like that. Friday he is takin me shoppin!! I got him some stuff and I'm gettin him Leftover Crack tickets as soon as they get to Brave New World.

Also Matt's mom finally decided on where we are going on vacation.
Purto Rico!! from June 10-14th.
It's going to be supperrr nice with the beach and clear water and the matt.
Sittin on the beach with Matt late at night and just ahhh I'm excited. =]
Hopefully I get all skinny by that time, Imma try really hard.

I dno I just want it to be Friday now!

=|

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 02:00:40 GMT

I need more friends.
I have some.
But I don't really have any to hang out with.
Everyone is too busy with boyfriends or work.
And I just don't have many friends to hang out with.
I can't remember the last time I just hung out with just my friends.
Ya it's pretty boring.
It be a plus if these kids liked the same things as me too.
That rarely ever happens.
Maybe one day.
It be nice.
Matts the only one who I'm tight with who enjoys the sames things as me.
But Matt is a boy and I'm going out with him and he doesn't like to do really silly things.
I don't know.
I miss behind enemy lines.

It's ballliinnn outside.

Tue, 13 Feb 2007 22:50:15 GMT

Snow! Snow! Snow!
It makes me wish Christmas a little bit. It should be like this in December not Febuary.
But I'm happy I didn't have school. I was also supposed to work today but they called me and told me not to cause of the snow. So yaaa I've been doing a lot of nothing today. And I don' work till Sunday so I have a really nice long break. Hopefully we won't have school again tomorrow. But I hope the roads aren't too bad cause well it's Valentines day and I want to see my Matt.

Last weekend was awesome. Friday I went out to Matt's house and drove around with JP. Met Pat and went to Moe's and then went to the mall and pretty much everyone of Matt's friends were there and I shopped a little bit.
Saturday Matt came over and we went over our friend Casey's then to the Behind Enemy Lines show. It was crazyyy fun and then Matt stayed over night again.

I'm still really missing warm and that. I miss my old friends and stuff and hanging out and havin bonfires. I think after we get called off school and it's tomorrow at 1 o'clock it should automatically be 60 degrees or something and all the snow should melt. That would be niiiceee.

someone come on and adventure with me !!!!

Fri, 09 Feb 2007 02:25:05 GMT

I miss summer or spring or fall ... anything with warm weather. I miss running around at night with friends, the bonfires, the woods, just laying on the grass or cement at night and looking up at the stars. I miss running down the street, and I miss adventures and finding new places to hang out in my neighborhood. I'm sick of the winter, and the cold and not being able to stand outside for more then 5 seconds. I want to go down the city or the southside at night and just walk around. Agghhh I'm sicckk of the cold and having to wear hoodies in school. What do you think, How much longer .. like uhhh 2 or 3 more monthes ugghhh it better come faster. It seems too good. I have to stop thinking about it.

This weekend should be good though. Tomorrow I'm going out Matt's then probably staying over my aunts at night. Saturday Matt will come back with me and then I believe we are going to BEL and I think going to a party or something and Matt is staying over. Problem is I have work at 12 the next morning D=

Well that show at my house I was talking about it actually going down. Unarmed is cool with it. FLAK said they would too if the date is cool. And my friend from works band Pyramid Scheme is playing. Then maybe another. March 31st I think this is going on. It should be warm by then maybe. That would be awesome.

I coughed when I was thinking of a subject name.

Wed, 07 Feb 2007 02:13:54 GMT

TWO DAYS OF NO SCHOOL.
Two Hour delay tomorrow.
It'S been nice. It's been reaaaalll niiice.
It's been a really good week.
Matt stayed over Friday and Saturday night. It was niiice sleepin wit my boy.
Saturday we went to Robinson Mall and Matt gave me a $100 gift card that he didn't want .. SO I GOT TO SHOP!
Chase came back with us and later that night we went to Behind Enemy Lines.
It was a good time, but I was really tired.
Yesterday I had to work and today Matt came over.
We watched Crank .. it was weird.
Yesterday night Nessticle and Kayla stayed over and we watched Snakes On A Plane. I love that movie, I don't get why people hate it. It was great. Then this morning when we woke up we went to ENP for breakfast.
Tomorrow I have gay work again. But then I'm off to Sunday.
I think Saturday I'm going to see BEL again at Robotos.

I'm planning on having a show at my house. Well Matt and I are. Unarmed said they would play. Chase is going to play his sweet folk punk shit hahah. And I don't know I think Matt asked FLAK and then Jessies band and then I'll try and find someone else. I'm kinda excited bout it. We'll see.

it's so weird.

Fri, 02 Feb 2007 03:07:36 GMT

Long time nooo update.
Wow I went to the Fear Before show.
They are amazing. Like I can't even descibe.
It was just ... beautiful.
I didn't like the other two bands tho.
Mick drove Molly, Kayla, and I.
It was fuunnn. Then hung out with those boys.
Jo Jo Bean .. mmm very nice.
But ya good show. I like almost died before it started.
We had to wait in to get in for like 30 minutes.
And then shortly after we got in my body like freaked the hell out and I almost fainted.
It was intense.
Today is Matthew and I's 11 months. <3
We should be hanging out tomorrow. And he's staying over Saturday.
Ew but I have work Sunday at 12.
I think I'm going to Behind Enemy Lines Saturday.
Semesters changed at school. I like my schedule more.
This kid I used to like date looong time ago moved to North Hills and goes to school with me now.
And he's in one of my classes, and is all creepy towards me.
And I guess it's pretty entertaining.
Hmmm whaaat else ...
I'm glad tomorrow is Friday and I really really don't want to work Sunday.

crunk.

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 21:51:50 GMT

It's really pretty out!
I didn't go to school today, Matt didn't have school so he came over for a little. Thennn tomorrow I just have some more lame school. Which really isn't that lame but getting up early is. I'm pumped for Friday maybe going shopping. Then Matt is supposed to stay over. Niiiice. Lame work afer that for 3 days. Tuesday is Fear Before! Then work one more day. oooo kareoke again saturday night at mono chellos .. ya i have no idea how to spell that. I dnoooo. I wish it was summer. I'm supposed to be going to the bahamas with Matt and his family as long asss nothing happens with us. But that's not to july so who knows.

cool cool

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 03:53:21 GMT

Today was pretty awesome.
Snow + no work = always nice.
And then Matt came over.
We just like chilled downstairs.
Took some shit and chilled.
Smoked and listened to music.
Then just talked and talked forever.
But it felt like only an hour.
So I'm sad 'bout dat.
But I'm happy cause it was really nice.
I'm like awake and really tired at the same time.
Mmm and no work again tomorrow.
But I don't know.
Oh and I'm 18 now!
=]
Last weekend was sweet.
Matt slept over and my friends all came over.
0o0o0o0o and Edward Scissorhands!
Noiiicee.

YO!

Sat, 13 Jan 2007 03:34:54 GMT

MY B-DAY IS IN 2 DAYS!
tomorrow im havin kids over.
matttthheewww iss stayyyingg ovvverrr
i'm really excited for that.
and then the next day we are going to see edward scissorhands
and its ganna be realllyyy cuuutteee
i went to the doctors today,
and they put me on anti-depressents hahhahahahah
nothing hardcore. they might work? all i know is i yawned like 397469367 times today.
but im in a good mood now .. so maybee????
buuutt iii dnnooo!!!

No one listens to the damned

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 04:12:16 GMT

Today was pretty nice.
I felt very nice and it was really nice.
Work was work, and I hate realizing that tomorrow is going to be just like today, alll over again.
I like when my work gives me like free playstations and that movie Talladega Nights randomly.
But anyway I hate that. Sleep. School. Work. Sleep. School Work. No excitment there.
Oh well next week is soo spaced out, it'll all be good.
I hate when I take 5 hours to download a song, And it's a shitty live version.

My birthday is in 6 days.
Saturday I'll have some kids over. [AHEM MICK MALONE]
Sunday go see Edward Scissors and out to eat with Matt.
That'll be cute. I wish I could always feel like I did earlier today.
Everything would be so much nicer.

I don't know I should probably go to sleep.
My brother and my best friend are going out .. hahaha. I'm happy about it, lil' weird tho.

I miss Matt a lot right now, and haven't gotten to hear his voice. v_v
I miss him a real lot, I wish he was here I want to give him a hug.
Matt was made for giving hugs. I like them a lot. He's all skinny and tall and huggable.
He's so cute but I want to talk to him via hearing his voice.
Who leaves their phone in their locker anyway?
I might go to his rehab meeting Wednesday. I wanna .. it be cute .. and romantic, Eh?
He's so weird. I like when he laughs. I like makin him laugh. He's so cute.
I hate liking him so much; but he's so cool.
I never really talk about him on here like this cause I feel gay, but I'm tired and I miss Matt.
He's so weird.

Kay. Goodnight.

The night's hard to get through

Fri, 05 Jan 2007 00:33:01 GMT

Today really sucked.
I hated it.
I wish it never happened.
I've probably cried 3 times today.
It's been like months since I've done that.
1.] cause my eyebrow got a lil effed up and people made it seem really horrible. but its cool now.
2.] teacher in english pisses me off. i didnt cry just got really pissed. i cant believe they think i should could more about school then work.
3.] i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself.
i wish i could change evrything about me.
and not be so ugly and fat anymore.
and dont tell me i'm not cause chances are your my friend and you have to say those things.
even if i was skinny i'd still be really ugly.
and i'll probably always be that way so i should just get used to it now.
i dont know why matt is going out with me, he could do a lot better.
im not worth all the money he spends on me and im never going to get mad at him again for anything cause i should just be happy that he's with me.
i will all the world consisted of was my good friends so we can just hang out all day and have fun. and we could all just be happy.